Behind Closed Doors

Just finished In the Neighborhood by Peter Lovenheim, in which Lovenheim spends two years developing relationships with some of the people on his street. This might seem like a natural thing to do, but Lovenheim makes it clear that, as a society, we tend to get wrapped up in complicated lives that leave little room for getting to know our neighbors beyond saying hello as we pass on the sidewalk.

While my current neighborhood is pretty close, I can certainly see some similarities. It is easy, especially in the winter, for weeks to pass without seeing my next door neighbors to the west. They are lovely people, and I am blessed to live near them. But we all hibernate a bit, and there are no young kids in their home running back and forth, so we don't see them often enough to know if something has gone very wrong. As Lovenheim points out, this could be easily rectified with some deliberate contact. Having children is a huge bonus for me in getting to know neighbors--the kids get to know each other and the parents follow in the wake. It must be harder when you are single or have two full-time careers.

During the years I spent in Dallas--middle school and high school--in two neighborhoods where people were mainly transplants from other cities, pursuing their careers, we knew next to nothing about the people living behind the fences next door. Our churches, schools, jobs and communities were so divergent, there seemed to be no common threads to grab onto. Of course that's not true--a concerted effort would be sure to find something in common with almost anyone. And for Pete's sake, we shared a lot line if nothing else!

I loved getting to know the interesting and very different neighbors that Lovenheim met. It's time for me to make some time, between books, to find out what interesting and different neighbors I don't yet know on my street.

In one chapter, the author accompanies the mailman through his route. I read part of this to my husband Brian, who is a bit of a professional expert on mail (and a bit of a know-it-all in general, as he would admit). Lovenheim mentioned that the mailman had received very generous tips, including expensive tickets to sports events and season tickets to the theater or philharmonic. Brian said that is against postal regulations--they cannot accept expensive gifts. Since the book was published, this mailman has retired. Let's hope the statute of limitations is short on that issue, since someone is bound to find out now.

The Fab Five Book Club is meeting on Wednesday for it's planning meeting for the next six months. We are ridiculously excited about this, and I would welcome your reading suggestions.

One last piece of advice--if you get mail in your mailbox that is meant for your neighbor, don't give it back to the mailman. Walk it over yourself and see where it takes you!